Wrong Saint Candle Turned a “Mild Complaint” into a Family Brawl – Don’t Repeat My Mistake

Quote from Guest on 2025-10-24, 3:30 PM

I grew up Catholic-lite: Christmas, Easter, and the occasional candle when Grandma visited. Hoodoo saint candles were exotic decoration to me—cheap glass, colorful labels, nice smell. That changed last March when my sister asked for “a small ritual” to speed up her boyfriend’s proposal. She was too shy to buy the candle herself, so I did the good-brother thing and picked up a bright-orange “Saint Expedite” novena at the local botanica. The owner warned: “Light it on a Wednesday, give him red flowers and pound-cake when it’s done.” I nodded, forgot the flowers, and handed it to my sister on Saturday—she lit it Sunday. That was strike one.

Monday evening her boyfriend came over for dinner. What started as gentle teasing about “when are you two finally getting engaged” escalated into a screaming match about unpaid electricity bills. My father—usually a quiet man—slammed the table so hard the turkey platter cracked. Sister locked herself in the bathroom crying; mom followed, slipped on the rug, and sprained her wrist. Boyfriend left, tires screeching. We blamed stress, ate leftovers, and went to bed.

Tuesday: the candle’s glass cracked vertically—hair-line from wick to base—leaking orange wax onto the white table-cloth in the shape of a lightning bolt. My sister woke up with a fever of 39 °C and a text from her (now ex) boyfriend: “We’re done—don’t call.” I still didn’t connect the dots; I threw the candle in the trash, glass and all, and drove Mom to the ER.

Wednesday: Grandma’s basement pipe burst, flooding the lower rooms; my father’s company laptop—left on the dining table—shorted out, losing an un-backed presentation due Friday; my car refused to start despite a new battery. The common thread? Each incident happened within two hours of the previous day’s candle-lighting time (7:45 PM). By Thursday I was googling “Saint Expedite back-fire” and found an old r/occult thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/occult/comments/ — dozens of users describing identical escalation after skipping the traditional offerings or lighting the candle on Sunday instead of Wednesday. One comment stuck: “Expedite gives speed—good or bad—whatever is closest gets amplified.”

I had basically put a spiritual turbo-charger on the family’s latent tension and then fed it nothing but sarcasm and pound-cake crumbs.